Text of the Week

"still feeling bossy obviously."

Text of the Week

"I suppose I should be nicer and more mature..."

Text of the Week

"Hey! You would be proud of me because I am reading a book and I am reading it by choice."

Text of the Week

"Hey pretty!!! I miss you!! I was reading your blog this morning in China and I kinda decided getting text of the week is a new goal :) I guess that means I have to start sending you random texts..."

High Five for Friday

1. & 2. Not one, but TWO, of my friends became engaged women this week! Kristin, one of my roommates, was surprised by her (now) fiance Jim last Friday when she opened our front door and he was there, down on one knee, with a gorgeous rock. He drove all the way from Chicago to surprise her with his proposal. Abbye, a sweet friend from college, was also surprised when her (now) fiance proposed to her on a mountainside while on a visit to Pittsburgh to see his mom. I am beyond excited for both of these wonderful girls and their future hubbies!

3. My roommates bought some gluten-free blueberry waffles for me last week. I can't tell you how much I have enjoyed eating them for breakfast the past few days. Seriously, y'all, it really is the little things in life!

4. My boss asked me to attend a meeting for her on Wednesday because she was unable to go. At first, I wasn't sure how I felt about going to this meeting, but I am so glad I went. It was a meeting for representatives from various organizations in Philly that work with media/arts and youth. I was so encouraged by this group of incredibly passionate and dedicated individuals!

5. There's an organization in Philly called Mighty Writers, and I'm kind of obsessed with their concept. I would LOVE to work with them (or another organization like them) in the - perhaps not-so-distant - future, but for today, I'm just thankful they exist because the work they do is so valuable.

Pretty Ass White Girl

I've been called a lot of things by men (and a few women) in this city, in the name of being hit on: beautiful, sexy, good looking, fine, lovely. I've been asked if I'm married and if I'd like to be, if I will give out my phone number or take someone else's, if I'd like to "have my world rocked" or "hook up" or any number of other things. I've been referred to as vanilla and snow. And I've been looked at in ways that say more than all of it combined.

At first, encounters like these both frightened and flattered me. As much as their brazenness scared me, I also somehow received a self-esteem boost from these men. However, after a while, I started to become used to it. It just became regular, routine, old hat, nothing to write home about. I stopped noticing. 

Until recently, that is.

Last Thursday, as I walked down the street, a man looked at me (for much too long, I might add), and then said to his friend, "Mmm-hmm, that is a pretty ass white girl."

On the outside,  I laughed and shook my head, but inside, my blood boiled. Something about this encounter incensed me. What exactly was it about this particular experience that bothered me so much more than all the others? I was supposed to be used to this sort of thing by now, right? Just shake it off as part of the culture.

And then it hit me. I wasn't mad because he commented on my physical appearance. I was mad because the way in which he did it indicated that he viewed me as an object, not a person. This guy looked at me like he owned me, like it was his prerogative how long and in what way he looked at me. And then, while still looking at me, he made a judgment about me to someone else. He didn't even have the decency to speak directly to me because I didn't matter to him. It felt like when I go window shopping with my girlfriends, except in this situation, I was the dress on display.

I want to be appreciated for my intelligence, sense of humor, and passion, of course. But don't get me wrong - I like being pretty and wearing cute outfits. And I shave, wax, and wear mascara, and I fully intend to continue doing so. 

But I am not an object on display.

Men, I implore you to consider the way you view women. Most of you reading my blog are probably not the kind of guys who would ever dream of hitting on a random woman. But what's in your mind? When you see a beautiful or (in your opinion) a not so beautiful woman, do you look at her like it is your right to do so? Do you think about the way her jeans fit her butt or her dress hugs her hips? Or do you remember that she is a person with a mind and a heart? a woman who wants to be respected not ogled?

Think it about it. Inspect your mind. And be part of changing the culture.

Text of the Week

"Just a heads up... Jim and I are hanging out in our room. Not sketchy."